The Worst Seats in College Football

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while.  Been real busy with work. 

This time of year I really start to get the College Football Fever.  I am reminded of an actual conversation we overheard at a Georgia Football game a few years ago.

The following conversation is real and takes place by an old Codger standing near our tailgate selling two legitimate tickets to a Georgia Bulldogs game. He apparently either had never sold tickets before, or had some sort of shock therapy in the past, or something.

Old Codger:  Hey! I got two tickets right here! For sale!

Potential Buyer #1: Great! How much?

OC: Um, face value.

PB1: Ok, how much is that?

OC: Well, these are not real great seats.

PB1: No problem. How much?

OC: As a matter of fact, they sort of suck.

PB1: Dude! Do you want to sell the tickets or not?

OC: Well…

PB1: Forget it. I’m out of here.

OC: Two tickets for sale right here!

Potential Buyer 2: Hey, how much?

OC: Son, do you know how bad these seats are?

PB2: No sir, but I don’t care.  I need two.  How much?

OC: $40 each.

PB2: Great, I’ll take them.

OC: On second thought, that’s a little high.  They are really bad seats.

PB2: Ok, how much then?

OC: $30 each

PB2: Fine, here’s $60.

OC: You don’t understand, you can’t really see the plays well from these seats.

PB2: I DON’T CARE! I NEED TWO! Take my money!

OC: No, that would be wrong.

PB2: %$##@@! Forget it!

OC: Got two right here.  Who needs two?

Potential Buyer 3: I will take them.  How much you want?

OC: These seats are bad, really bad.  You sit behind the band and you can’t see anything. It's so loud that you...huh? Did you just say something?

PB3: Doesn’t matter sir.  I just need to get in the stadium.  I can sit with friends.

OC:  You actually sit behind a large concrete beam and can’t see a dang thang.

PB3:  Sir, I have been to numerous games here.  There are no concrete pillars in the stadium that you sit behind.

OC: Son, don’t tell me.  I have sat in these seats. I know what I’m talking about.

PB3: Whatever!  How much?

OC: $20 each

PB3: Done!

OC: Even the seats make your butt itch, you will certainly have a rash tomorrow. And there are always gnats flying around your face.  And you can’t get to a bathroom or a concession stand from these seats.  You have to actually go out of the stadium and come back in…

PB3: Have you lost your mind old man?!?

OC: Ok, $15 each.

PB3: Give me the tickets!

OC: I couldn’t, really.  There’s always a large man with a large hat sitting in front of you too.

PB3: SIR! Are those real tickets or are you trying to scam me??

OC: Oh, I assure you sonny, they are real.

PB3: I will give you $30 for the pair! Final deal!

OC: What?  Are you crazy? Are you trying to rip me off? I will call the campus police on you!

We laughed until milk came out of our nose.  And I don’t even drink milk.