Missing You

You are only a few hours drive away but it feels like a million miles.

Every day a small tug on my heart is a constant reminder that you are not here.

You are not gone, just not as close as you used to be.

I used to walk in the door, not see you at all, but knew you were there.

A laugh, a comment, or even the tiniest of smiles from you could brighten my darkest day.

Daily I pray, I worry, I hope for the best.

I reminisce, I laugh, I smile, and sometimes I cry.

A part of me, a part of life, seems so far away.

A feeling of closeness that I came accustomed to is now distant.

Something I hoped would never change, but did.

There are sleepless nights and restless days.

Most every day is filled with wondering if you are ok.

I knew this day would come, but I never thought it would be this fast.

There wasn’t enough time. Why didn’t we have more time?

Looking back, the moments were more precious than I could have imagined.

If I knew then, what I know now, I would have stopped everything in the world to spend more time with you.

I would have said kinder words.

I would have made every second count.

I would have given you more of my love.

I would have held you tighter.

I would have left no regret.

But, I know you have your own life now.

You have love, you have responsibilities.

Your priorities have shifted to your future hopes and dreams.

I understand, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Trying to let go is hard, especially when I have to start over every single day.

I honestly hope that I gave you everything you needed to survive in this world.

I hope I did not fail you or let you down.

I hope when you think of me it is with good thoughts and a smile comes to your beautiful face.

I will always be here for you.

And one day when I’m gone, I will watch over you from heaven and if I am able, I will shower you with as much love and as many blessings as God will let me.

I miss those words in that tiny voice that melted my heart every time I heard them.

“I love you, daddy”.  I cherish them each time you say them now.

You were my first born and I never knew such incredible love existed until you arrived in my world.

You are a grown woman now, but you will always be my little girl.

I love you and miss you more than any words can possibly describe.

I treasure every moment we have together.

I truly thank God every day that he gave me such a wonderful gift.

I am so proud of you and I am so proud to be called your “Dad”.